Writing what I want to write, secrets, and owning it.

You write what you want to write. That’s it. Fuck the rest. This is your home, your space. You want to weep about the things that have been done, however trivial they may be in a world lacking world peace and struck with poverty, fuck it. You write what you want to write.

That’s it.

Because everyone is fighting their own battles, because everyone hurts, everyone feels pain, and to measure it is bullshit. Fuck a battle where I weigh my pain against yours and you weigh yours against mine, because why? Why? What’s the point in saying to a person who is hurting that their pain doesn’t weigh enough, no matter the genesis of that pain? That’s bullshit.

I don’t want to be a sad bitch on the internet, I don’t want to come here and cry everyday about the fucked up shit in my life, but at the end of the day this space is mine and if I want to cry over the wrongs done to me, that maybe don’t have to do with pandemics or poverty, then I will. Because this space is mine.

So let me tell you a secret.

I’m sensitive. Beyond words. I’ve got this tough bitch, honey badger, fuck shit up demeanor, but fuck that. I’m a sensitive bitch. You hurt, I hurt. That’s how I work. He hurts, I hurt, even when I shouldn’t. I hear a song and it takes me. I can’t stop it. It drags me down, to those depths – and I think you know them – those dark places where sadness is comfort and broken is built.

I cry over lonely puppies and Sarah McLachlan and I’m done saying I’m sorry for that shit. This is the person I am. I take a lot in, and I do with it what I can. I try to fix what I can, try to heal what I can, try to rectify what I can and the rest, the parts that I can’t fix, well. They fucking eat me, those parts.

Because – and here’s secret number two – I want to save the world.

I want to fix your shit. I’m a fixer. It’s what I do. Give me your shit, and I’ll give you a solution, because I want to see you smile. I want to make you laugh. I want to make your ribs hurt you laugh so fucking hard and so I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever pain you have to give and I will wrap it up and throw it out into the universe because I fucking love you.

I shouldn’t have to apologize for giving a shit, and so I won’t.

Because I do. I give a shit. I care. I care so much I’ll break myself for it, because me be damned – fuck me.

And if writing is my catharsis, then so fucking be it. Walk away if you don’t want to read it, or don’t if you do.

And so here it is:

I laugh too loud and I swear a lot.

I don’t eat sea creatures – not even crabs or lobsters or shrimp.

I’m really fucking funny sometimes. And sometimes I’m really fucking sad.

I hear a song and sometimes it dictates my mood. That’s it. That’s just the way it is.

Most days I just want to run. For as many miles and as many hours as my legs and lungs can handle.

I drink craft beers and scotch, and, if I’m in Vegas, Blueberry Stolis.

Nachos are my favorite food, green my favorite color, spring my favorite season and Halloween my favorite holiday.

I’m almost always wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

I don’t wear lipstick and I’d almost always rather be barefoot.

I don’t have a filter and sometimes I say things I shouldn’t.

I’m not fucking perfect, and I shouldn’t have to be.


Notice: compact(): Undefined variable: limits in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 853

Notice: compact(): Undefined variable: groupby in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 853

Notice: compact(): Undefined variable: groupby in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 853

Warning: count(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/class-wp-comment-query.php on line 405

16 thoughts on “Writing what I want to write, secrets, and owning it.


  1. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Holly G

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    I love you


  2. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    tj

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    perfect or not, i wouldnt change one damn thing about you.


  3. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    Hear fucking hear! Powerful at its best – honest, raw, real. xo.


  4. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    I love this and love you, exactly how you are. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and there is no comparison and they should be their authentic self. I’m happy to see you doing that. Because your authentic self is beyond words rad. I have been thinking very similar things but haven’t had the heart to write it. You, boo, are always an inspiration to me.


  5. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    Yes.

    Amazing.

    Yes.


  6. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    You are amazing and one of the best people I know. I love every bit of you, sensitive, non-filtered. Keep smiling as much as you can, Terra, and know you’re loved.


  7. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Margaret

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    AMEN !!! If you were anything else other than the authentic you, you’d be living a life that belongs to someone else.

    HUGS


  8. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    So many hugs friend. And nachos, I wish I could send you nachos. xo


  9. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Alverna

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    I wish we could eat nachos together right now.

    You are amazing sad.
    You are amazing mad.
    You are amazing just the way you are.


  10. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Ash

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    All of my friends get the same warning, T., and have, especially since I figured out I have Aspergers: I am who I am, I don’t play head games or tolerate them, and they will never get anything but raw honesty from me, whether that’s what they want to hear or not. And you know what? A surprising number of people are more than okay with that – it’s a relief to them to deal with someone who is real. I ask for honesty in return, and if they can’t give it, or accept me as I am, then we weren’t meant to be friends. That’s just the way I look at it. I haven’t got the time or energy to give people who play games or try to manipulate others.
    So, I’m all for your declaration of you-ness. Keep it up!


  11. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    I love you. I miss you. You’re amazing. Also, I didn’t know your favorite color is green, so I learned a new Terra fact today. xx A


  12. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss


  13. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    “Because everyone is fighting their own battles, because everyone hurts, everyone feels pain, and to measure it is bullshit. Fuck a battle where I weigh my pain against yours and you weigh yours against mine, because why? Why? What’s the point in saying to a person who is hurting that their pain doesn’t weigh enough, no matter the genesis of that pain? That’s bullshit.”

    THIS. Also, none of us are perfect. It’s insane to try to be! I struggle with this too, this whole being perfect thing. As much as I know it’s impossible, I still try. That makes me insane, I know. Always thinking of you and sending you big virtual hugs.


  14. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    I’m with you, you’re amazing, don’t change.

    Be authentic. Fuck the rest.

    Do you, love. Do fucking you.


  15. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    You and I are so alike, i think… I’m a fixer, I can’t stand hurt and pain when it’s bothering others, music is my lifeblood and it does change my mood (just last week: rocking out to a rap song, then a sad song came on and suddenly my shoulders went from shoulder dancing to shuddering from crying). I think you’re beautiful, brave, hilarious (anyone who has read your blog knows you can be fucking funny), and of all the people I haven’t yet met through the interwebs, you’re at the TOP of my list. I want to eat nachos and talk and laugh and cry with you.


  16. Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

    Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964
    Reply

    <3


Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964

Leave a Reply
Deprecated: Function get_magic_quotes_gpc() is deprecated in /home/gattitc/terra-bear.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 3964