Heart Swells, Blogger Love & the end of Bloggers in Sin City.

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For me, it started two years, when I went to the third Bloggers in Sin City. It was a scary thing, to go. I’d been following, admiring and internet stalking so many of the attendees for years and years and it seemed a bit presumptuous that I should find myself worthy enough to bask in the glow of their awesomeness, but I went anyway, determined to put myself out into the world. It took not a small amount of self-talk to get myself ready for Vegas, but then I got there and found a herd of people that were, without a doubt, my people.

It was incredible, really, how amazing it felt to be totally and completely accepted as me; the real, weird, sorta crazy me, but that’s exactly what happened. I’d found my people.

Around registration time this year, back in January, it was announced that this year’s Bloggers in Sin City would be the last. The announcement made me feel a lot of feelings, but it also made me determined that this event, this final romp through Vegas with 60-something of my best friends, was going to be the best yet.

And it was.

Wednesday was all yell hugs and feeling like I’d just come home after being away for far too long. It was wine and late night pizza and heart swells. It was a like a family reunion, only better and with more glitter.

Thursday was brunch at Hash House A Go Go, giant sprigs of rosemary, steak knives through breakfast foods, honeydew and BLT bloody mary’s. It was going to the registration lounge for more hugs and hellos, cheesecake pops, popchips, plank wars, and invoking tigers, sharks and moose. It was meeting and making new friends, a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity and getting all the goodies. It was the welcome mixer at Serendipty 3, sweet and savory treats, pineapple mojitos, hamburgers without bottom buns, meatballs, staring contests, name tags and sequins. It was an impromptu party in the room I shared with Caryn at the Flamingo, complete with wine, whiskey, glowsticks, bow-tie lessons and some overnight guests.

It was waking up Friday ready for the pool. It was shared breakfast sandwiches, reserved space, glitter homelessness, nachos, a booty shaking contest and shameless poolside dancing. It was an afternoon nap, then dinner at Planet Hollywood’s Spice Market Buffet. It was lingering over dinner, hair braiding, discussions on god and religion and a massive plate of cupcakes. It was seeing “O” at the Bellagio, marveling at the mechanics, fake fights and soul-eating threats.

Saturday was blogger run club, learning the Las Vegas elevation and a 3 mile jaunt down and around the strip. It was brunch and an absolutely exceptional whiskey tasting, all the inside jokes, more nachos, talking about Army, and dinner at Le Village Buffet at Paris. It was getting ready with my neighbors, glitter hairspray, curling irons, some mild blogger gossip and my blue suede shoes. It was seeing everyone all dressed up for happy hour, vodka tonics, making ridiculous faces, laughing so hard it hurt and a few little tears. It was the Wicked White Party, at PURE, reserved space and bottle service. It was getting lost on the way out and dancing just to dance, wandering aimlessly around Ceasar’s, finally finding our way out and late night snack time. It was late night chats and a roommate who snores like a Disney princess.

And then it was Sunday, the worst day, the dumbest day. I hate on Sunday each year of Bloggers in Sin City because saying goodbye to everyone is the absolute worst, and it always comes too soon. Nicole, who made this whole incredible thing possible, got up to speak and opened up the floor to anyone else wanting to share their feelings publicly and so I cried, all through brunch. And not dainty tears – no – I ugly cried. I ugly cried because it’s hard to say goodbye and Sunday was an awful parade of goodbyes.

So I ugly cried at brunch.

I ugly cried at In-N-Out.

I ugly cried at Margaritaville.

I ugly cried in the lobby of the Flamingo.

By the time I got to the airport I was out of tears.

I stopped being sad once I got home because crying over the amazing people who are in my life seems like an awful waste of tears. It’s sad that it won’t be like that again, that we won’t ever all get sequined up for nights out in Vegas, but this isn’t the real end. These people are my people and I’m not done with them.

Now I’m left trying to sort through all the feelings I have and mostly I just feel lucky. And happy. It sucks that it’s over, but really, I’m pretty much over Vegas. I went for the people, for the amazing and brilliant group of individuals that the event seems to attract each year.

This isn’t the end.

24 thoughts on “Heart Swells, Blogger Love & the end of Bloggers in Sin City.

  1. This is SO not the end… I’m so grateful that I got to spend the last three BiSC years with you, Terra! You are awesome and I love you’re real, weird sorta crazy. And I love all of this. BiSC was awesome this year. Our Sundays together steal my wool.

    I need more Terra in my life. Visiting you is on my to-do list.

  2. I love you 🙂 Thank you for the Army talk and for bringing all of your amazingness these past few years. I am so grateful to know you, and can’t wait for the next thing. Villa? Richmond? Portland? Also, “I WILL CRUSH YOU” is my favorite.

  3. It’s not the end of the story, it’s just the end of the Vegas chapter. 🙂

    You’re beautiful, even when you’re ugly-crying and hissing. ESPECIALLY then.

    I’ll see you soon! I’ll be the one ugly-crying in my nachos.

  4. I am SO glad that I got to meet you after stalking your blog for months!! I also am so glad that you live semi near and that we will get to hang out again bc you’re right its not the end end! I wish I had been able to come to the previous years but I’m so glad I made the last one! And also you’re a pretty cryer (is that creepy?) so stop saying ugly cry!

  5. This year, yours and Caryn’s were the first faces I saw when I got to the hotel and I knew I was home. That’s the power of community.

    And while we didn’t spend a ton of time together this year, I somehow feel like it isn’t that huge of a deal, because there’s a sneaking suspicion that I *will* see you again. Chicago? New York? DC? Who knows? But it’ll happen. Because our paths cross. That’s just how it is. And I’m happy for that. 🙂

  6. yep, this pretty much sums it all up so much. heart you so very much friend and i’m so glad that it was through BiSC that we became friends in the first place. you are a wonderful person and a fabulous friend and like you said, this is definitely not the end. rather a start to a new chapter of adventures and shenanigans. and there will always be glitter somewhere. xo

  7. this was the just the best. i love you and miss being near you always. i’m so happy to have you in my life and admire you so much. also very glad that vegas wasn’t the end for us – i KNOW we will be near each other soon. i’ll bring my sequins and all the glitter. xo.

  8. You are the best roommate ever. I had such a blast with you. Thanks for inspiring me to me a better person and runner. I know you and I have many many years together but this may be the end of Vegas, but it isn’t the end. Also, I love that Disney Princess made an appearance in the post! 🙂 I have so much love for you, I am just beyond grateful that BiSC brought you into my life.

    Nico – Seeing you again, after 2 years, felt like no time had passed at all – and that is the sign of true friendship.

  9. I have been majorly MIA in the blog world for a LONG time and just spent over an hour catching up on your life and holy moly lady, do you live a full life! I am loving all your race recaps and running stories and fur-baby stories and the raccoon picture just about made my night. You’re awesome, don’t ever change.

  10. Yes – heart swells! That’s the perfect way to describe basically all of BiSC. The whole thing was basically one big heart swell that reminded me that Your People/Tribe are really out there if you just go to find them.

  11. San

    Terra, you’re easily one of my favorite people and meeting you IRL at BiSC was one of my highlights. It was so wonderful to take our online friendship to a new level…. now I just need to see how to make it out to the East Coast sometime.

    So much love <3

  12. You are amazing and I’m so glad I got to meet you through BiSC! I already told everyone that I need another east coast BiSC reunion, so we’ll all see each other again. MUST!
    <3

  13. Oh, honey, I think I am guilty of the “UGLY” cry much more than you. You are gorgeous even when you are ugly crying. Bitch.

    I am SO happy I went. I know I talked to you about how I doubted whether I should go or not but hindsight is always 20/20 and I was so, so, so supposed to be there. You are part of that. I love you. I miss your face.

  14. Reading this brought me back to seeing you across the room at brunch, both of us crying ALL the tears. It was beautiful in all its sadness because we all felt the same way. All 68 of us in that room felt it. It was the end of the Vegas era but no where near the end of the BiSC family.

    I love you! And i miss your face so much!!

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