{5 Points} The 5 Year Anniversary Edition: Random Us Things


Holy shit, you guys. Five years ago today Andrew and I said “I do” in the chapel at the Luxor Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. It seems insane, a little, that it’s been five years since we got married, all awkward and nervous and giggly-like, but there it is. Five years.

We’ve done a lot in five years. We’ve meowed to jazz songs in the car and gone on epic vacations to Europe, San Francisco, Boston, Seattle, and Alaska and we’ve sailed around the Caribbean a few times, hitting a handful of different islands each time. We’ve collected FOUR CRAZY CRITTERS, hosted friends for holidays and shenanigans and learned to love red wine. We’ve turned into adults, in technical and boring ways, and successfully maintained high levels of ridiculousness. It’s been a crazy, wonderful adventure.

This year has been the absolute hardest of the five, hands down. People who love and need each other aren’t supposed to live in different time zones or different states or sleep in different beds or live different lives, but we are, and even if it’s for the best sort of reason, it’s still stupid and awful. We’ve probably argued harder and louder and more fiercely this year than any other year before, but even in the middle of a fight, when I stop myself from yelling (and let’s be clear – I’m the yelling type – Andrew is the strong silent, hugging type) I look at him and realize that there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, that I value more than our marriage and the love we have for each other. He’s my dude, my best friend and the most important person to ever enter my life.

5 Random Us Things


1. There was never really an engagement. There’s a moment I remember clearly, toward the end of our time in Kosovo, once Andrew and I realized that we really, really, no shit were totally head over heels in love with other. We hadn’t been together for any long length of time but we knew. We were outside, standing on the porch outside my room, and I asked him what he wanted to do, about us, when we got home. He said he didn’t know where we were going to live or what we were going to do, but that he knew, without a doubt, that he wanted to marry me. And that was it. Marriage seemed terrifying for me, as I’d just gotten divorced, but this was Andrew, this was the guy who I swear I loved the first day I met him and so I said okay, yes, let’s do that. Let’s get married, because why the fuck not. I love you, you love me, we were always supposed to be together, so let’s.

2. We only fight about one thing. Everyone fights, and the couples who say they don’t are full of shit and totally doomed. Andrew and I don’t fight about a lot, or even often, at least not under usual circumstances, but what we do fight about is communication. I over-communicate and Andrew under-communicates and his lack of communication drives me crazy. And that’s it. We don’t fight about other things, at least not seriously. We snark at each other a lot, and I get snippy if I have to ask him to take out the trash more than once, but the only thing I actually yell about is the communication thing and really, it’s partly because I’m obnoxiously nosy (journalism suits me) and Andrew is decidedly mellow and doesn’t think to share the mundane bits of his life that I actually want to know about because I’m a crazy person.

3. Andrew enjoys and partakes in my weird. I’m really fucking weird, you guys. I was raised by wolves and a flock of asshole geese. Andrew is weird too, in his own deliciously awkward and hilarious way, but I take weird to a whole new level. I’ve named an actual herd of stray cats. I once sang a 12-minute song, completely improvised, about a kid named Timmy Twotoes. There are days when I communicate more with animal noises than with actual human speech and I can pick things up and throw them with my monkey toes. I am a weirdtacular festival of quirk, and Andrew seems to enjoy it, at least most days, and the best part is that he’ll actually participate in the ridiculous, he’ll actually meow along to songs with me, and he doesn’t swat me away, or even raise an eyebrow when I fluff his chest hair before napping on his chest. He doesn’t mind my fascination and love of comparing Biore pore strips, and it seems he’s learned to understand the majority of my squeaks and squawks.

4. We’re both really funny, but we’re at our most funny when we’re together and that’s how I know it’s true love. We take ridiculous to a whole new level. The conversations we have together, especially when we’re alone, are the actual silliest things ever. He’s hilarious and I spent last weekend accidentally almost getting spit-laughed on because I’m pretty hilarious myself and together we’re just god damn funny.

5. I really do love him more today than yesterday. It’s so cheesy, but I swear I love him more with each and every day that passes. He’s amazing and basically a super hero. He’s doing this incredible and ridiculous and difficult thing, this crazy flight school thing, and it’s amazing and I’m so proud and each step closer he gets to becoming a rated US Army Aviator, I become more and more amazed at what an incredible dude I get to call my husband. Plus, he opened bottles of champagne with a fucking saber on New Year’s Eve, while wearing a tux and looking dead sexy and when you add that and the whole flying helicopters thing together, you get one bad ass mother fucker I’m ridiculously in love with.

Cheers to five years, Snap. I love you, more today than yesterday.

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22 thoughts on “{5 Points} The 5 Year Anniversary Edition: Random Us Things

  1. I love this.
    You guys sound like a fun couple to hang out with.
    It’s funny, the fights Zach and I have typically center around communication as well. More of a “it’s not what you said it’s how you said it” communication problem, but one just as well.

  2. Happy anniversary! Seriously, I haven’t even met your husband yet but you two are one of my favorite couples ever. I love the ridiculousness and that you are funnier together… PS: I TOTALLY want to hear this 12-minute Timmy Twotoes song. Please tell me you either recorded it or wrote it down. 😉

  3. Happy Five-Year!
    This post got me all teary-eyed. And makes me want to meet both you and Andrew someday (I mean, I already want to meet you, I think I’ve told you that like a hundred times already). I learned today that you got married in Vegas, I had no idea. So cool, probably because Knight and I talked about just that upwards of 25 times during our engagement. I still kind of wish we had eloped.
    Here’s to five more years many times over for you both!

  4. have i ever told you that your marriage is one of my favorite relationships? i just love it so much. congratulations on five years and to many years to come!

  5. I don’t know Andrew but you guys are definitely one of my top five favorite couples. So happy anniversary and here’s to many more to come! Raising an IPA to you two tonight!

  6. Reading #2 and #3, I swear I thought I wrote this post and not you, ha. Regarding the weird, it’s normal, right, that I make up songs about Ella every day and sing them to her in my best Broadway vibrato with no shortage of jazz hands? Um, right?

    Happy anniversary, you crazy kids. And I don’t think I ever realized you were married before Andrew.

  7. I’ve had this tab open for a long time, which means I meant to comment, but then I came back and thought I already did, but apparently I did not, which is what happens when you have thirty tabs open (I KNOW, I KNOW, it’s BAD for ALL THE THINGS and that’s why my computer sucks a lot) but anyway I just wanted to say that you two are my favorite, the end.

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